By Wein Gadian
Kismet
COMMUNICATION refers to a process by which someone or something is made common, that is, it is shared. If you tell me a secret, then you and I possess a common knowledge of your secret, and you may have communicated it to me. But you have much more to communicate to me, if you wish to, than merely one of your secrets.
You can tell me who you are, just as I can tell you I am.
These are the words of John Powell in his book “Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who Am I?” which struck me the most. I do believe that our society today places great emphasis on being authentic, being real.
A dean of a College of Liberal Arts once said in a speech that Artians (referring to students who study in the College of Liberal Arts) are authentic.
That to be authentic is to study hard, to be a good leader and to listen to the teachers. But I’m confused in my experiences and observations in an educational institution with the problems on leadership, politics, rivalry and other issues, that I hesitate to believe this claim of authenticity. And who can prove the essence of authenticity; does it really exist? Allow me to share my own analysis of authencity based on what I’ve read.
According to John Powell, “Nowadays, authenticity connotes playing mask over the face of our “real” selves, and of playing roles which disguise our true and real selves. I say, because the implication is that somewhere, inside you and inside of me, lurk our real selves.
Supposedly, this real self is a static and formed reality. There are moments when this real self of ours shines out of us; there are other moments when we felt compelled to camouflage our real self. I must sight justification in this manner, and it can be more misleading than helpful. There is no fixed, true and real person inside of you or more precisely because being a person necessarily implies becoming a person, being in process.”
It is really hard to tell others who we are but to be authentic or to be real towards others we must do it–though I myself am hesitant to do it–to grow as a person. I always think of what should and what should not be included in writing speeches, articles, stories or essays because I’m concerned of how people will react. But sometimes, the “written or the delivered me” is overpowering that I loose myself in it.
One time I heard Britney Spears’ song “Sometimes” and I hummed with it and I realized that it’s an honest piece. An authentic one, we can relate to it. It goes, “Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide, sometimes I’m scared of you but all I really want is to hold you tight, treat you right. Be with you day and night, baby all I need is time.”
It conveys that if we allow ourselves to be real, to be honest, we set ourselves free. Though we may confuse it sometimes with the saying, “Sometimes we do things because it feels good, and how can it be wrong when it’s right?” I agree too, but the song is not contradicting. It only emphasizes the need, our need to sometimes acknowledge our emotions. We all have a need to be the real us, to be true.
I believe that I have something to share with the people I encounter everyday. These things are the little realizations that I’ve learned in books, in relationships and in my struggles.
As Leo Buscaglia cites in his book Living, Loving and Learning, “An investment in life is an investment in change…when you are changing all the time, you’ve got to continue to keep adjusting to change, which means you are constantly facing new obstacles. That’s the joy of living. And once you are involved in the process of becoming, there is no stopping. You’re doomed, you’re gone! But what a fantastic journey!”
In my years of living, I’ve went through indifference and tried to overcome it. I believe that to be a friend to others is to trust and to allow ourselves to be open to change–to be truly human is to learn to trust again, to believe and to take a risk.
We have to get in touch with “being human” and, that’s the difference.
