By Wein Gadian
Kismet
THIS is a story of my friend who called me to meet and talk over a cup of coffee. I was actually bound to see the sunset since I was running out of words to write or rather, I was again suffering from writer’s block. But my friend was insistent and because it’s been years since we last saw each other, so I agreed.
It was a sunny afternoon. I changed into a pair of jeans and met her at the coffee shop.
I could not believe it was her. She was wearing a simply cut butter yellow floral dress. I remember she used to be the boyish type who would rather wear shorts, a tee and a pair of rubber shoes. My amazement didn’t stop there. She was wearing earrings — the kind of thing she wouldn’t have dared to wear before.
It can’t be her, I told myself and decided to go home but she called my name.
I still couldn’t believe it. The girl that I used to give advice to, saying she is a girl no matter what she does, was beautiful and had a grace I have not seen before.
People change, I told myself as we exchanged our hellos. We enjoyed reminiscing and laughing at our childishness in the old days.
In front of our half-filled coffee mugs, we talked about our melodramatic life. She confessed her heartwarming story that got me almost into tears.
With her consent, I will share it with you. May you find it remarkable and learn from it. Here’s her story:
“I once had a friend who always held me when I was afraid, kept me awake when I was sleepy and made me laugh when I wanted to cry. I could call him and talk for long hours over the phone during late nights. Our friendship did not stop with chatting over the phone or exchanging notes. It grew until college, during the times that he was in love and during his break-ups and until we had jobs.
“I used to support him and praise him for the good things he did but I was scared the day I knew he was leaving because he had to work abroad. I trembled when I said, ‘Go. Anyway, we’ll see each other.’
“‘But I’ll miss you, it’s just that this what my family wants,’ he said, with worry that was evident in his eyes. I felt his sadness but we knew we had to be strong.
“So I said, ‘Opportunities knock only once. It won’t be hard when you’re there and you’ll get used to it.’
“Smiling, he replied, ‘It will be sad there, you know that. My friends won’t be there. It’s a strange place and I don’t know anyone.’
“‘You are strong and believe you can survive. Your friends won’t be there but we are with you in spirit. You take care.’ I choked on my words. I lied but it was the only way to move on.
“We spent the day reminiscing and he told me he loved me and that he doesn’t want to hurt me. I looked at him, uncertain of what I’ve heard. Nevertheless, I told him that I know. It was then that I felt strange knowing he was looking at me. That was our last real talk.
“Two days before he was due to leave, our conversations were on movies, records and the malls, not on love and his leaving.
“I was confused on the day he left. I didn’t send him off to the airport. I was afraid I might not make it without him. I didn’t even bother to ask where I could reach him. I was sad but I was to blame.
“I was scared of losing, of not seeing him, of falling in love because I wanted us to have our dream. We had so much to prepare for.
“I was a coward, that I didn’t give myself a chance to say that I also loved him. It’s now killing me — that I ignored the fact that I cared for and loved him.
“God gave me a delightful gift, but it’s too late now because I can’t find him.
“What I had with him was a beautiful memory. It has helped me grow and taught me how to take life seriously.
“People may say that I’m stupid for losing myself to someone. I won, but it did not stop me from believing that love is perfect because love wins in the end.
“Somewhere out there, I believe we’ll find each other if we’re meant to be. But now, wherever he is, I only want to tell him, ‘I’m really proud of you. I know it’s not easy being pushed in many directions by so many responsibilities in one’s life. But one can do it by holding on tightly to one’s dream, until it becomes a beautiful reality. There’s a wonderful tomorrow and I want you to know that I believe in you and wish you a bright future and hope-filled dream.”
