Sunday, November 6th, 2005
Of all misconceptions about love the most powerful and pervasive is the belief that ‘falling in love’ is love or at least one of the manifestations of love. It is a potent misconception, because falling in love is subjectively experienced in a very powerful fashion as an experience of love. When a person falls in love what he or she certainly feels is ‘I love him’ or ‘I love her’. But two problems are immediately apparent. The first is that the experience of falling in love is specifically a sex-linked erotic experience. We do not fall in love with our children even though we may love them very deeply. We do not fall in love with our friends of the same sex-unless we are homosexually oriented – even though we may care for them greatly. We fall inlove only when we are consciously or unconsiously sexually motivated. The second problem is that the experience of falling in love is invariably temporary. No matter whom we fall in love with, we sooner of later fall out of love if the relationship continues long enough. This is not to say that we invariably cease loving the person with whom we fell in love. But it is to say that the feeling of ecstatic lovingness that characterises the experience of falling in love always passes. The honeymoon always ends. The bloom of romance always fades.
words written by M. Scott Peck in his book ‘The Roadless Travelled.’
January 1, 2010 at 12:33 pm |
both are part of love too – though am not a love expert, I still believe love is mysterious. Scott Peck’s views is one of the many who influence my many concept and perception of love.